When it comes to negativity - I have had my fair share of it. Both growing up as a child, a tuned out teenager, and even today as a young adult. I'll admit too - and I'm sure I'm not alone - but I wish the world was a happier place filled with less negativity. Would it make our lives easier? Maybe not...but I do think it'd help us all tolerate each other a bit more.
Here's the reality about negativity though in all shapes and forms; it comes with being human. I'm sure you don't want to hear that because at this moment you're looking for every reason to believe in something bigger than yourself, but it's the cold hard truth. Just like I covered in my earlier post on The Law of Attraction, negativity may be part of living, but it doesn't need to define us. Or in some more drastic cases, it doesn't need to consume us.
Before I go over how you can handle negativity in your life, I'll give you a taste of my own life. I grew up being the youngest of three sisters where my opinion rarely mattered. Anytime I did what I felt was best for me, my own sisters would turn against me rather than try to understand me. I often forced myself to work with toxic coworkers who threw tantrums at work and even yelled at other coworkers - including me. To top it off, my own partner's family became a source of negativity as any achievements I made or interests outside of them, was just another outlet for them to put me down. So, I can say with confidence that I'm no newbie when it comes to this topic.
Despite this article though which is summed up in just a few hundred words, I've spent years working on myself just to be able to have the mindset that I have today. Now, it may not take that long for you to adjust, but lets be real - change takes time - and that's okay. Actually, the more patient you are with yourself, the more you'll learn in the end. The more you learn, the more likely your life is going to improve. It's important that you don't rush your own self-development and work at a pace that really matters to you.
I'll also say that to everyone's situation, there are scenarios that require you to assess your own boundaries. The points mentioned in this post do not have a particular order, but they do serve as guidance.
Lets get started.
1. It's Nothing Personal
One thing I remember reading online whenever I needed reassurance in my life, is that when it comes to dealing with negativity from other people - first assume that it's nothing personal. It's easy to forget that everyone has problems that it's bound to rub off on someone else. Is it right? No, because we should all be more considerate of others in general, but we are human and slips do happen. When it does, it's nothing personal. It may be hard to see it this way when in the heat of the moment and someone snaps at you or makes a remark at you that seems totally unwarranted, but emotions can have a way with people that makes us all say and do stupid things. I've done it. You've done it. We've all done it.
Word of advice; be the role model. We may not be able to understand why people say or do the things that they do, but by not allowing ourselves to be rubbed the wrong way, it helps us be the better person when faced with someone in need of a little bit of compassion. By allowing ourselves to be compassionate first before reacting, we remove our emotional response which can often be misleading. This in return teaches others to do the same, and creates more role models. I don't know about you, but the world needs more of them!
2. Pick Your Battles
I used to ignore my problems like no ones business. It's not healthy, I don't recommend it, so don't do it. What I do mean when I say ignore it though is to pick your battles. If a person is having a bad day and they're spitting fire but you're feeling on top of the world because you just got paid more than you were expecting - does it really make sense to jump in the line of fire? Unless you're looking for a character building day, it's important that you really take the time to prioritize what's important to you in any given moment. No one else has the power to bring you down but yourself, and no one is definitely making you jump in fire!
The truth is, unless the problem effects you directly, you're not obligated to get involved. I used to have this heavy feeling within me that whenever a problem came up and I was around, that it was my responsibility to fix it. Today though, I think twice before I burn myself because while it's great to be compassionate, it's not great interfering with other peoples business when it's not your lesson to learn in the first place. Do yourself a favor and pick your battles. You can avoid so many headaches and energy draining situations.
3. Empower Yourself
I used to be in a crazy dark space inside of my head ten years ago. After everything I went through as a child, there came a point in my life where I needed to change. I turned to reading self-help books because I was tired of my old ways of thinking. I was tired of trying to solve the same problem with outdated ways of being. I was tired of repeating the same toxic patterns in my life that weren't getting me anywhere. If at some point you find yourself faced with so much negativity that you find yourself alone and feeling desperate, reading may just turn your life around.
You see, we're all creatures of habit. We do what feels comfortable most of the time, even if it may not be right. We may not be able to control everything that goes on around us, but we can at least have the right attitude to enjoy the journey. The only way we can do this, is by empowering ourselves through learning. Read self-help books that lift your spirit, books that motivate you to be goal driven and help you shift your focus from the problems in your life to your very potential. Reading can't remove the negativity in your life, but it can change your perspective. So why not start now to see for yourself?
4. Evaluate Your Circle
Did you know that your character can easily be evaluated by the people you spend the most time around? That's how influential we really are; we're like sponges. Have you ever found yourself surrounded by a group of people who all wanted to do something that made you feel uncomfortable, but because of their pressure, you caved in and ended up regretting it? I know I have. Or, have you ever been around a group of people that encouraged you to try something new and it turns out that you enjoyed every minute of it? Exactly. When I talk about your circle, I really mean the people you surround yourself with.
It's no secret that human beings are social creatures, but there are levels to how social we all should be. Regardless of your age, we all should pay close attention to who we keep close to us. You may just find that you have more toxic people in your life than you realized! By removing or distancing yourself from toxic people that only hold you back, you'll realize how much power you really have because it's no longer being wasted. To find yourself, you need to surround yourself with loving energy and you can't do any of that with people who suck you bone dry. Think about it.
5. Recognize The Patterns
As mentioned before, I used to ignore my problems. I did it so often that the problems kept repeating in my life - creating toxic patterns. I eventually realized that I needed to face my issues in order to be happier. For example, I used to work for a company that made everyone burnt out. One day, I typed up a letter explaining solutions that could improve the work environment - something I had never done before - and I presented it to management. I was turned down immediately and as a result, I walked away from the job. I was disappointed at first, but the fact that I made an effort to improve my life was all that mattered and it made me much happier.
So, if you find yourself faced with the same issue that just keeps repeating in your life, it may just be a sign that you need to face an issue you're avoiding. Only you can know the very problem that appears constantly in your life and whether it's with people, yourself, or other things - tackling it head on is the only way you'll see less of that very thing. Whether it's changing a job, confronting a person, redefining what love means to you, or speaking your truth more in general - you'll realize that the sooner you adjust the patterns in your life, the more time you'll actually have time to being happy. Just like empowering yourself to have the right attitude is important when dealing with negativity, addressing unwanted patterns in your life can be just as beneficial.
6. Respect Yourself
Our interactions with people go both ways and it first starts with how we treat ourselves. Holding ourselves accountable when our internal dialogue is anything but nice to us is key to a happier life. Now, I know no one is perfect, but we all should strive to be our own best friend. Think about it. Would you want to be friends with someone who was constantly putting people down, being judgmental, or was just overall negative about everything? I didn't think so. So imagine looking in the mirror and all of your thoughts were suddenly played on a speaker - would you want to be that persons friend?
We can't control how others see us, or what they think about us or do for that matter, but we can always be there to support ourselves. Respecting ourselves first will help us pick better relationships, take care of our bodies more, prioritize what we spend our time on, and even the goals we strive for. When you take the time to respect for yourself, it's a clear message to others of what you want; respect. Even if the fire ends up finding you, you'll be able to decide easily if it's worth getting burned or not. This is the power of respect and the beauty about being human.
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While there are many ways one can effectively deal with negativity, at the end of the day it boils down to your own self worth. The value you hold for yourself is far more important than anyone else's opinion of you. We all have the right to be happy, but no one has the right to bring us down unless we let them.
Until next time! xoxo - Sarah
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