I know it's been quite some months since I last posted on here but I felt like it was only right to take a step away from social media due to my mental health. Given what I've gone through over the years, I felt the need to stop vlogging because I saw I had hit a low point. I felt defeated by life and in all honesty nothing made me happy. When this happens to me - which honestly isn't often - I know it's time to step out of the limelight for a bit to find the light in me again.
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First and foremost, for anyone struggling with their own mental health, please know you're not the only one. I am guilty about putting up a front about how happy I truly am, but the reality is that deep down I have not been happy for quite some time; probably since my mom passed away in 2020. I have always strived to be a person who could jump back from just about anything; a person who could keep moving forward no matter how hard the impact was. Unfortunately, that mindset I had was not only unrealistic when compared to my own human nature, but a ticking time bomb that would eventually go off.
So I took some time away. I aimed to be more present in my life and my first goal was to work on my health. I started working out again and even bought myself a mini trampoline (aka, a rebounder ) which is so amazing. If you're looking for a great workout that's easy on your joints yet will help you lose weight faster, this is worth investing in! I also didn't realize how backed up my lymphatic system was and rebounding daily really helped flush out toxins that were preventing me from losing weight this whole time. Wow.
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| My new fav! |
I spent two months literally just working out, eating better, and doing more things that contributed to my overall happiness. They were small things honestly but meaningful to me. I'd take daily walks, spend time reading, playing video games, spending quality time with my pets, sleep whenever I felt tired, and just be present with my boyfriend. It really hasn't been easy on Dimitar but he's been very patient and understanding with me.
Life in two months greatly improved for me by just focusing on the small things that made me happy without having to come off as happy to the world. Being in nature also helped reset myself from within. Dimitar and I would go to the park for walks or just walk around the neighborhood to get fresh air. Since I work from home, I often stay inside so changing my environment up and spending more time outdoors really made a difference in my mood.
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| Nature is the best medicine |
Just when I was getting myself out the darkness though, my senior guinea pig Snicker's became sick. Just like his brother Twixy, Snickers developed mobility issues and started to lose weight really fast. Even with me doing everything that I normally do for a sick piggie, I knew what he was telling me. Unlike his brother who had passed away in my arms, I had to make the tough decision to put Snickers down because I didn't want him to suffer. Just like that, I found myself feeling alone and afraid again. I always considered Snicker's to be the tougher one who was bold and sassy. He wasn't afraid of anything and over the years his wisdom comforted me when I needed it the most. I sure do miss him.
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| Rip Snickers - I miss you buddy |
Snickers passing also left Reecey alone and I could see that it effected him. He had bonded with Snickers very fast and I knew Reecey would need a new pal soon. So, I went back to the same rescue I adopted Reecey from and adopted a new piggie named Hershey. Adopting a new piggie not only helped me cope with losing Snickers, but it reminded me of how much I'd love to start my own guinea pig rescue one day. Guinea pigs have always had a special place in my heart and I'd love to have a rescue of my own just for them.
I'll start by saying that Reecey and Hershey did not get along for nearly 12hrs after being introduced to one another. It left me pretty anxious but I kept working with them both and trying everything in the books to help them bond, including a bonding bath and expanding their cage. Well, it's been over a month now since I adopted Hershey and I'm happy to say both piggies have finally accepted each other (although there was a serious fight between them by the end of the month! I'll cover that in another post).
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| Reecey & Hershey sleeping near each other |
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| Their new 2x5 c&c cage - the loft was improved later |
As I get back into the routine of uploading content and getting my own mental health together, I'm slowly starting to feel like my usual self. Although losing pets is never easy and I feel overwhelmed by the losses I've been hit with over the years, having moments of peace give me the clarity I need to keep moving forward. Even when life seems it's darkest, I've learned now that it's these moments where I shine the most.
If you'd like to watch me open up more in a vlog, you watch my new vlog below.
Until next time - Sarah
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