I met my boyfriend online about eight years ago. I was living in Baltimore Maryland at the time, working two jobs just to make ends meet while renting out someone's basement. I had just gotten out of a bad relationship so I was rather insecure of myself and not feeling particular about mingling. A coworker of mine though suggested that I try online dating since I worked two jobs so I went for it; not really sure what to expect.

    I went on one date and it was horrible. Absolutely horrible. I felt I had nothing in common with the guy and felt extremely uncomfortable. A few days later, I discovered Dimitar's profile by pure chance. He had similar interests as I did on his profile - a documentary called "Zeitgeist" - and I was immediately intrigued since it's not really a mainstream documentary; so I reached out.  We talked to each other for several days before finally making a date to meet each other. We even spoke on the phone too and I was super shy!

    Our first date was on October 22, 2013. It was a chilly night, but perfect. He picked me up from my apartment and we decided that we'd go to the movies and see Interstellar. Since we were early to the movies, we walked around the town for a bit and talked for some time; losing ourselves in each other. We talked about our interests, our jobs, a bit about our lives, and even made jokes with each other. I was so comfortable with him and he enjoyed my company as well. 

First picture together in 2013

    From that point on, we began dating. Dimitar lived in Springfield, VA at the time, so we were half an hour away from each other. To make up for the distance, we took turns seeing each other. He'd drive to meet me a few times and I'd take the Amtrak train to see him since I didn't have a car. On days where we didn't see each other, he'd called me from work and we'd talk for hours. The best part of my day was being able to see him or hear his voice. I knew I loved him early into our relationship simply because he truly made me feel special from the moment we met; he even opened the doors for me wherever we went!

    After several months of dating, I moved in with him and his parent's - something I wish even today I waited on! My lease on the apartment was ending and his parents agreed I could stay with them for awhile. Well... awhile turned into seven years. Dimitar and I bumped heads a lot early into our relationship and argued often as we began to live with each other; we had good moments, but there were plenty more stressed ones. I was convinced that we wouldn't make it, but within two years we managed to work out our kinks and insecurities and both of us were so happy we didn't give up. From that point on we only became closer.

    Dimitar helped me see the world in a more futuristic manner. He showed me the importance of investing in oneself and being more care-free while I helped him be more ambitious. We learned to communicate better when we realized each others strengths and weaknesses and we also learned to listen better to each other too. Both of us came from families where communication was often sacrificed for the sake of peace, and we realized we didn't want that to be us. We wanted to be authentic in all shapes and forms - no matter what.

Skydiving 2014 - I was so scared!

    We both pushed each other to see past our own limitations and we both encouraged each other to reach for greatness. He supported my love for art and I supported his love for investing. Appreciating the small things really made a difference in our lives together; whether it was going on walks, going camping, window shopping, or taking a spontaneous trip to Walmart just to buy junk food and go back home to binge watch Netflix. We loved the small things that made us happy and we were happy just to make each other happy in the process. 

    Of course, there were stressful moments too; moments that tested our love for each other. Issues with money came about, starting a life of our own seemed unreachable, drama with his family or mine, or just our own personal lives tugged at us constantly. We learned to lean on each other during times of stress though and we learned that we could cry with the other too and still feel safe. It was during such trying times that I realized how much Dimitar meant to me because he gave me a safe place to really be myself. 

     We both enjoyed deep philosophical conversations too which we used as a guide in our relationship. Our love for philosophy and self-development helped us reason with ourselves and helped keep our relationship genuine. We both had a progressive mindset that kept pushing us forward and it freed us from so many issues that we saw others around us facing. Before we knew it, this mindset led us to a  different side of life; one that felt so magical and surreal.

Rome 2019

    In 2020, I was devastated by the passing of my mom. She had been struggling with alcohol and was homeless at the time and for so long I had been praying that everything would work out for the better. I felt so much resentment after my mom's passing and Dimitar was there to reassure me that everything would be alright. He experienced the loss with me and to this day, I'm forever grateful for him being by my side when all I wanted was to be alone. I know it was hard on him to see me in so much pain and it was his strength and love that made daily tasks easier.

    2020 was the year I decided to turn my life around. I was tired of being stagnate with my own growth and I knew I needed a new change. I saved up money and searched for apartments and by early 2021, Dimitar and I had finally made our first move. It was intimidating for both of us since we had never had a place of our own, but we worked together and did our best to make our new apartment work out.  After everything we had been through, our first apartment felt like a breath of fresh air. 

1st Apartment 2021

    Later in the year though, my boyfriend's grandpa in Bulgaria passed away; they were very close and they talked often. We both cried in the hallway to the news and we held one another; now it was my turn to be there for him. I gave him the comfort he gave to me when I was in pain and I checked up on him daily just to remind him that I was there for him. It was hard experiencing the pain all over again of losing someone, but taking it day by day and being there for him, even crying with him, made all the difference.

Until next time! xoxo - Sarah

     For the past three years,  I have been participating in Inktober; an art challenge during the entire month of October where you make art based from prompts, with inks. The first time I heard about Inktober, I brushed it off because I didn't believe in my skills enough or dedication, to draw everyday. So I never tried. It wasn't until just a few years ago, that I finally gave it a go and it was a such a great experience.

    I learned so much from my first Inktober that I made the decision to do Inktober every year. 2020 Inktober wasn't a good year for me though because I was going through so much pain from my mom passing away that I finished a few prompts and didn't finished - it was tough to accept but I knew deep down that I needed more time to myself. 

    2021, I felt stronger and after all of the hardships I had overcome, I found myself dedicating more time to my art and I knew when Inktober came around, that I would commit. I almost forgot about it of course when October came around, but I was still excited for it nonetheless. 

    Inktober is normally done with inks but since I have been wanting to improve my digital art skills, I told myself that I would do my prompts digitally, using the Inktober brushes I had downloaded to give my artwork a more natural feel to it. 

    Drawing digitally was a challenge though because for starters, I was using brushes that I had never used before - so I had to spend time getting a feel for them and adjusting them so that they gave me the right effects. The second challenge was making sure that my art didn't look too digital which meant purposefully giving it a watercolor wash look that I would achieve on paper. There were parts where I colored over lines, just as I would have with watercolors, which overall helped me be more relaxed when drawing.

    Now on day five though, I have already had to draw two prompts in one day since there are times where I don't have time to draw or I am just too tired; so I leave it for the next day where I am more focused. I've learned that by trying to be so strict with posting everyday, it can put more pressure on me and that's not motivating. If I skip a day, I do the prompt the next day instead and I feel much better than if I were to try to draw when I'm exhausted or crunched on time. 

    I know there will be plenty of prompts that I won't really enjoy or my art won't come out as good as I wanted it to which is completely normal. I have noticed that there are some prompts I feel more connected to than some and I just learn to appreciate what comes so that I don't stress out over perfection. This is why Inktober is fun; it forces me to relax, have fun drawing out of my comfort zone, and be more leaned back as an artist

    My reward to finishing Inktober is to get myself a tablet. I haven't decided what tablet, but I know I want either an Ipad tablet or a Wacom Cintiq 16 inch tablet - which is only for drawing. Both are a bit pricey, yet I would really like to upgrade from my current wacom tablet. It would be nice to have both honestly, but for now, one will do. Having this reward at the end of the challenge pushes me more to finish. 

    So, yes it's okay to bend the rules a bit, as long as you're enjoying your self as an artist - that's all that matters. Being an artist is a creative pursuit that never ends and our emotional state plays a big part in our ability to create, in general. To be stressed or aiming for perfection will only prevent you from seeing your own individual gains and also make it harder to live in the moment with yourself. 

    I used to be scared of art challenges until I learned that it was only by accepting challenges, that I would grow even more. Give it a try. As a self-taught artist, challenges have given a new meaning to my life that I will always appreciate.

Until next time! xoxo - Sarah